I am a wife, mother of two beautiful children and continually on the quest to better myself. I will share my experiences, tips and adventures through motherhood in hopes that it helps other moms better the quality of their lives. I will share my stories, favorite products, review books and just share my random thoughts on how to be a great mother, wife and better person in the community.

Friday, January 21, 2011

New Year Resolutions

It's already the middle of January, and I've realized that I've forgotten to put my list of New Year's Resolutions together.  So, here it goes.

  1. Eat healthier.  This one I'm switching up a bit from past years.  This one used to read "work out more", but I think that eating healthier is also just as important.  This also extends to the rest of my family - since I want them to eat better.  My daughter actually does ok with eating her veggies and fruits, so if she's not getting the best nutrition she needs, it would be my fault.  Along these lines, a friend recently introduced me to a local farm CSA service that delivers fresh produce right to your doorstep.  They are also part of a network of other organic farmers around the US, so we're able to get a balance and variety of produce.  During the summer, I love going to the local farmer's markets, but with it being so cold and rainy in the winter, our choices are limited to visiting our local Whole Paycheck (aka Whole Foods).  Our first delivery is next week, so I'm excited to see what fresh foods will be showing up at our doorstep.
  2. Expand my photography skills to a new level. I've taken the first step in this by signing up for an online photography class.  So far I've been pleased with the information I've been learning and I've really been learning how to use all of the controls on my camera.  More specifically though, I now know how to control exposure, take sharper pictures and brighten colors.  
  3. Sit back, take a deep breath and relax.  This one I really need to make an effort to do.  With many years of working as project manager and multi-tasking, this does not come naturally to me.  So when at home, I'll make a conscious effort to do things slower and take a few deep breaths as I walk around the house.  I can never have enough oxygen flowing through my blood.  :)
  4. Volunteer.  I've always been meaning to volunteer in some way or another, but never gotten around to it.  Well, no more excuses.  I would like to work with kids in some way - maybe the local Boys and Girls' club, but I'm not quite sure yet.  I need to research around my area to see how I can help.  If you have any ideas or suggestions, let me know!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

My Meltdown

Ok, so my youngest son is now 4 months old, and up to this point I think I've been doing well in balancing my life, finding things to do, and making the lives of my husband and kids pretty enjoyable.  Well, up until New Years, that is.  I had my first official real meltdown.  I'm not proud...by no means.  But, what I've learned is that all moms, whether it be the first time around, or the fifth, will at some point reach the point where you just want to leave.  I don't mean leave the family, but I mean just leave and go somewhere, anywhere but where you are.

My meltdown came just around New Years.  My husband had been working a lot and I experienced for a few weeks, what a single mom with little help would be facing.  I thought I was handling it quite well, until one afternoon my two year old started whining and crying about everything, and even my 4 month old son who is normally an angel, started chiming in and whining and crying.  No matter what I did, they were absolute terrors.  Well I snapped and I ended up putting each child in their rooms, shutting their doors, and running down to the garage and sitting in the car, thinking of all the reasons why I shouldn't leave the house.  I really had to talk myself down off the ledge, so to speak.  The kids were crying, I was crying, it was an absolute mess.

Then to make it worse, I started thinking and longing for my life before the kids.  The freedom, the silence, and all that good stuff.  Well, it took me a few days to calm down, to come back to reality, and to start enjoying my life again.  For a few days there though, it was rough - especially with my feelings of guilt for feeling the way I was.  What helped me out in the end was knowing that I'm not alone in feeling this way - and all the moms I've talked to in the last few weeks have experienced the exact same thing in one way or another.

Plus a little shopping therapy definitely helped for a few days.  I've decided that people who shop excessively are trying to fill some kind of void in their lives.  At least that is the case for me.  So, for all the moms that find themselves struggling - my point is - it's OK!  Don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do, because it won't help the situation, and the best thing you can do for yourself and the family is to get over it, pick yourself up and focus on the amazing parts of motherhood and all the joy that the children bring to your lives.  In the end, I know that no one can make me laugh out loud like my kids do.